Stress & Anxiety...Who Needs It?!

"Worrying is carrying tomorrow's load with today's strength- carrying two days at once. It is moving into tomorrow ahead of time. Worrying doesn't empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength".― Corrie Ten Boom

Adulting is hard, can be overwhelming, and annoying. I feel there’s no need to expand.

So lets talk about when the weight of adulting starts to take a toll.

Am I Experiencing Stress or Am I Experiencing Anxiety?

       Good question! Both can cause physical side effects and emotional responses. Stress is usually brought on by your environment…external triggers. An unyielding work schedule, weight of being the sole provider of your large family, continuous appointments for your progressive illness, recent conflict between you and your snookums’, etc. When you address and provide relief from the triggers , you can feel stress relief.

Anxiety is more internal BUT can be brought on by external factors either growing up or events in life; I'll explain in a minute. First, I like to compare anxiety to an app on your phone that runs in the background; some apps you may be aware of and others are less noticeable yet they still drain your battery. Your brains finds it difficult to be present.. in the here and now. Your distracted by: the “when you get a chance, give me a call” email from your boss right before you go into a meeting, the unanswered text from your friend 2 days ago…The Sunday Scares! At the core of anxiety is some level of fear; fear of what you don’t know. What does this mean? Your brain creates scenarios of the 'what if ' (usually negative), you catastrophize, you ruminate on events or interactions. This is where the external factors I mentioned can sometimes play a role. Lets say you realize through therapy you have an attachment style of anxious or fearful/disorganized from your childhood:

Event	Automatic Anxious Thought
Your friend hasn't texted you back in 2 days	Their mad at me or they don't want to be my friend
A presentation on a topic you know like the back of your hand	I need to be perfect, if not the audience will see that I'm a fraud or proves I'm not good enough
I have a hectic week filled with commitments I made to family/friends and my own tasks.	If I say "no" to friend/family, they will think I'm not a good person or be disappointed in me.

Anxiety can be generalized or you can experience a full panic attack.

Can Stress and Anxiety Live Together?

YES! An example is the last scenario in the anxious table above. However anxiety is harder to fully evict of the two roommates. You end up with more of a noise ordinance agreement. You learn to quiet the anxious thoughts or keep them controlled. The truth is anxiety is not bad when managed. We all need anxiety... I said what I said!

There are tools to manage both stress and anxiety. Let me help you out with some:

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1. Simple Coping Techniques For Stress:

   • Take a mental health day if able...and not to do stuff around the house, but actually unplug for a second!

   • Delegate…if you don’t have to do it yourself…don’t!

   • Be intentional about good nutrition

   • Yoga, morning stretches and simple exercise integrated into your week goes a long way: there’s 10-20 min workout programs, there's bedtime yoga, stress relief yoga, chair yoga/exercises…a plethora of options that counter your arguments as to why you don’t.

   • Be intentional about healthy sleep: no falling asleep to the TV, or going down the social media rabbit hole right before bed..

   • Therapy Helps!

2. Simple Grounding Techniques For Anxious Moments:

   • 4-7-8 breathes: inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 7 seconds and exhale for 8 seconds Do this before leaving the house or throughout the day, not just when in need.

   • For panic attacks: start to mentally describe things around you (smell, texture, shapes color, etc.). Whether its a store, someone's outfit, the trees, etc. Push your feet against the floor to feel the support of the earth, describe the flooring beneath your feet supporting you

   • Seek Help! A therapist can help you build the tools to challenge thoughts as they occur and get to the root of things if applicable

Challenge yourself to try and commit to 30 days of decreasing your Stress and anxiety. Easier said then done but I have faith in you!